Sunday 11 November 2007

I may be in love with Charlie Brooker


Well, not with his voice and not particularly with his face, but at least with the version of him that I can read in the Guardian. In person, I'm sure he could be really annoying, a smart-arse who is constantly providing some acerbic put down or unwelcome, smug little postscript to another's comment. H'mmm I've started to go off of him already, better re-read his fears of activity holidays:

"There are other options, of course. Activity holidays for one, although the idea fills me with revulsion. I don't want to go trekking with a bunch of disgusting strangers. What if a really annoying jabbering, bearded bloke latches on to me on the first day and decides I'm his best mate and won't leave me alone, and I'm stuck with him in some Arizonian wilderness and the sun's beating down and he's talking and talking and farting for comic effect and eating sandwiches and walking around with egg mayonnaise round his mouth until I want to grab the nearest rock and stove his skull in, and carry on smashing and smashing and roaring at the sky until the others dash over to pull me off him, but by then I've gone totally feral and start coming at them with the rock, which by now is all matted with gore and brain and beard hair, and I manage to clock one of them hard in the temple and they're flat on the ground, limbs jerking like an electrocuted dog, but as I swing for the next one some self-appointed hero rugby-tackles me, but I'm still putting up a fight so in desperation they all stamp on my neck until they're certain I'm dead, then throw my body in the river and make a lifelong pact to tell no one the truth of what happened that day? What sort of holiday is that?"

Ahhhhhhhhhhh...it's love once more.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/Columnists/Column/0,,2205346,00.html

The foulest item of clothing I've ever seen




Crocs are inherently foul, but what they hell is going on with this "snuggly" version?
Not content with looking like a gimp in warmer climes, are people really prepared to look like Ronald McDonald's Alaskan cousin during the winter months?

Thursday 1 November 2007

Ho HO HO

A 2001 UK poll found that 71.6% of the UK consider themselves Christian, 15.5% ticked "No Religion" and 7.3% refused to answer.

I'm pretty sure that the majority of the Christians only nominally consider themselves so in matters of birth, marriage and death (the so-called "hatches, matches and dispatches")and rarely step foot in a church outside of those occasions (lack of taxis, excess alcoholic fuel, a nostalgia for tea clothed figures from childhood and the lure of warmth on a cold December 24th notwithstanding).

That leaves around 6% of the population that could, apparently, be insulted or threatened or offended by the UK's continuing celebration of the birth of Christ, annual piss-up, fight with the in-laws, inappropriate acts at the office party, a much needed week off or whatever it means to people who do acknowledge it in one form or another. "Christmas should be downgraded unless other religious festivals are marked on an even footing, a Government think-tank has said."

At the risk of offending active Christians, oh for Christ's sake!

According to japan-guide.com "Less than 2% of the Japanese are Christians, and Christmas is not a national holiday. Nevertheless, the popularity of Christmas is growing in Japan especially among young female Japanese."

If I were a Daily Mail reader I might complain that the world has gone mad.

If it weren't for Daily Mail readers, I might be prepared to believe it.