Tuesday, 24 April 2007

As if the world wasn't unfathomable enough anyway, a man cuts off his penis in front of a crowd of diners!

From the BBC
Zizzi on The Strand
The man tried to gain access to the kitchen
A man cut off his penis with a knife in a packed London staurant.

Police were forced to use CS gas to restrain the man when they entered the Zizzi restaurant in The Strand on Sunday evening.

A Metropolitan Police spokeswoman said the man was aged between 30 and 40 and that his injuries were self-inflicted.

The man was then taken to hospital in south London where his condition is stable. It is understood surgeons were unable to reattach his penis.

The man then picked up a kitchen knife and slashed himself across the wrist and groin
Zizzi spokeswoman

A spokeswoman for Zizzi said the man was not thought to have any connection with the restaurant.

She said: "At around 9pm on Sunday, a man walked into the Zizzi restaurant on The Strand, down the stairs to the basement restaurant area and tried to enter a kitchen.

"Members of staff stopped him, at which he ran into a second kitchen area.

"The man then picked up a kitchen knife and slashed himself across the wrist and groin areas before running back into the restaurant, where he continued to stab himself.

"This happened in a matter of seconds and was obviously extremely frightening and distressing for the many customers and staff in the restaurant at the time."

She added: "Apart from the man, we understand that no-one else suffered any physical injuries."

98% of prosecutions result in a conviction in Japan yet Lucie Blackman's killer was acquitted!

They found one of her hairs in his condominium; there, they also found the receipt for the chainsaw which sliced up her body; they traced an anonymous phone call to her friend ("Lucie has joined a cult and will not be back") to his mobile phone; she was found encased in concrete in a cave 250 metres away from his condo; he was a frequent visitor of the club she worked at; police found over 200 sex videos in his apartment (many of which appeared to show him raping unconscious women); he was already under investigation for the rape of two foreign and two Japanese women yet:

"The court cannot prove that he single-handedly was involved in her death," Presiding Judge Tsutomu Tochigi told the Tokyo District Court.

"What is clear is that the victim was together with the accused and then vanished and next was found dead."

Oh and the suspect in the Lindsay Hawker case (the suspect who fled from his apartment in front of eight policemen) hasn't been sighted since.

The jurisdictive rot in Japan is truly repulsive.

Saturday, 21 April 2007

JR tried to steal my \1000!

After somehow ballsing up the Fare Adjustment machine as I attempted to load some extra cash onto my icoca card, I was left with the following situation: a 1000 yen note that had not quite disappeared into the machine and a card that was wedged in the slot. At this point feeling unabashed I yanked away at the card and it finally gave way, accompanied by a siren and flashing lamps.

I expected the JR workers to come galloping over, but they didn't so I had to hover by the machine, loosing all poise and absorb more strange looks than usual.

Finally being able to explain the situation and the back of the machine being opened, I soon thought I would be reunited with my money and all would be well. Alas no. Mr projectile saliva the station manager kept insisting I had only put in 100 yen as that was all he could find in the back of the machine. He had no reason to doubt me as Japanese people just don't try it on all the time unlike Brits, so seemed puzzled and said he would investigate the matter and call me back the next day after they had cashed up in the morning. So far only 15 minutes expended!

Three days later I hadn't received the phone call, which was more annoying than the lost money, so I dragged the boyfriend (who insists on being called "hero" after helping me out of too many scrapes recently) along with me. I soon recognised the bark of the saliva dude and told him I hadn't been called back. He made a big fuss about not believing I hadn't been called back and then invited us into the den under the tracks that JR workers borrow into for 10 hours a day.

Initially, I was even a little bit excited as the most you usually get to see of a JR worker is a head popping out of the ticket machine if you call for assistance (very disconcerting the first time you witness it!) However, after spending almost 40 minutes in the warren cum office and being asked whether I may have in fact put my money in the wrong slot or listening to suggestions that a thief might have stealthily taken the money in front of my very eyes (ten minutes to check the video footage proved that this preposterous event hadn't in fact occurred) and the Hero almost exploded and demanded to know why we were sitting here listening to this nonsense and that if they had called me back as promised we wouldn't be wasting the tail end of a Saturday's sunlight.

After more examining of my card and protestations that no one could possible explain the mystery, we were finally allowed to leave. The station manager promised to look into the matter further and we said that we'd call by again on our return.

The matter concluded with spittle and declarations that words could not express his regret and a 1000 yen JR pass card.

Monday, 9 April 2007

Happy Birthday to me

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday dear me
Happy Birthday to me

Well, yes, it is particularly sad wishing yourself a happy birthday, but. believe me, not as sad as passing your 34th Birthday in the company of a throat infection and one card. Yes, that was ONE card. From my boyfriend. Who lives with me. Who is hardly in a position to forget.

There are many challenging things about living abroad
but being forgotten by your family for the third year in a row rates pretty highly. I feel about as popular as a fart on a camping trip.